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June Yates-Boykin

I marked the day, Thursday, September 15, 2005.  I lay down that evening to end the day broken.  Struggling with situations at home, I searched for my role in the problems and any way I might be able to change things.  My heart ached for those who were hurt at no fault of their own.  After all, they weren’t even involved.  They just happened to be in the path of scattered buckshot fired from the anger and arrogance of another. 

My search for the source of all that anger resulted only in more questions.  My understanding of such behavior was minimal, and my ability to impart healing and peace to the wounded even less. 

I lay in my bed and prayed to the One who came to heal and restore.  As I meditated on the Lord, peace came over me and I felt my body relaxing at last. Beginning with my creased forehead and working its way all the down to the soles of my feet, the sensation of that hurt and confusion leaving me was as real as if I had been face down on a table under the hands of a skilled masseur. I even heard a gentle whisper, “Relax.  Relax your forehead.  Relax your body.” 

Rest that eluded me only minutes before allowed me access.  I knew sleep would soon overtake me and things would look brighter with the morning sun.  But sleep was not quite yet to be.

At that moment I was transported to a field.  A beautiful field carpeted by God in lush green as far as the eye could see.  A gentle breeze caused me to pull my hair from my face.  I closed my eyes and lifted my face toward a warm sun.  As peaceful a setting as anyone could hope for, yet there I stood hurting inside. 

I don’t know who he was, an angel I suppose.  I don’t remember seeing his face or even the back of his head.  I cannot tell you the color of his hair.  I know only that as he freed the horse to run at top speed, I wrapped my arms around a strong body dressed in some sort of flowing white garment.

Somehow, I knew we were headed toward a castle.  Is that what I was searching for?

At first sight of the enormous abode I was slightly disappointed.  It looked dull and dreary.  Just a gray monstrosity difficult to see from a distance. I wondered if my mind had conjured up the image from the thick cloud of fog that now rested heavily on the ground.  Was hope simply causing me to see something that wasn’t there?  No, that was a castle.  A dismal looking place covered in a heavy cloud of fog.

I inquired of my equestrian chauffeur, “Why does the castle look so cold and dreary?”

“It’s hidden.”

I didn’t quite understand his answer, but the tone with which he spoke invoked a bit of excitement in me. Searching turned to adventure.  A great secret was about to be revealed.

As we approached, something amazing happened.

The fog dissipated and white clouds filled the sky.  As they did, the castle literally changed colors.  The cold, bare gray stones gradually transformed before my eyes to brilliant white to blend in with the clouds.  Looking closely, I could make out its shape.

In an instant the clouds blew away and left a perfect blue sky, to which the castle again changed colors.  This physical castle was as a chameleon in a garden of multicolored blooms.  Again, if I looked closely I could make out its shape.

     This castle could only be seen by those meant to see it.  On this day, that included me.

     Oddly, even though we rode right up to the majestic doorway on green grass, the castle was a perfect shade of blue and somehow in my thinking was in the sky.  Maybe I was at a place where heaven reaches down to join hands with earth.

      It was huge.  I struggled to take it all in, a vast expanse of sheer brilliance.  As though transported, I was suddenly inside. The horseman escorted me just a few steps then vanished.  I stood staring for a moment at the splendor of the foyer with its shining white floors inlaid with gold.

      Before me was an extremely wide, winding staircase.  A burgundy velvet carpet overlaid the stairs which were of the same regal flooring on which I stood.  I lifted my head and there, seated on a throne set upon a platform at the top of the stairway, was none other than Jesus himself.

       All I could do was stare in amazement.

       It was not until he motioned for me to come up to him did I notice that I held a small black box in my hands.  Just a simple cardboard box about the size of a red brick.  A pintsized, solid black, cardboard box that weighed virtually nothing. 

       As a matter of fact, it was so small and lightweight I don’t know why I felt the need to carry it in both hands, except that I was determined to hold on to it.  I couldn’t remember having it with me on the ride.  I didn’t know what was inside.  All I knew at that moment was that it must be something important because I wasn’t letting go.

        I looked down at this new discovery, back up toward my King seated on his throne, then again to the box in my hands.  I slowly and reverently began my ascent, overwhelmed by anticipation and wonder.  My eyes were fixed on him. I would not look away.  I thought if I took my eyes off of him, he might disappear, or I would be sent back to my bed.

         So surreal was this affair that my mind struggled to comprehend.  Is this real or just a dream?  Am I actually in the divine presence of the Lord?  Am I dead?  I could not answer because I could not tell one way or the other.  All I knew was that I was not going to miss my chance to have this moment with my Savior so I continued to approach him in speechless awe.  With each step my grip tightened more and more around that little black box.

         At last I arrived at the landing.  I looked Jesus in the face and he smiled a gentle, reassuring smile.  His expression spoke for him, “I am glad you came.” 

          I knelt.  Then I stretched my hands toward him and knew whatever was in that box belonged to him.  Though just a few seconds before you would have had to pry my fingers from around the mystery with a crow bar, I released it without hesitation and put it at His feet.

          Suddenly, I understood what was in that box.  That revelation resulted in an uncontrollable sob.  I buried my face in my hands and wept.  That’s all I could do.  I just cried.  Bawled like an unhappy baby was more like it. 

          “What’s wrong?” Compassion asked, “Why are you crying?”

          Trying to calm myself so I could speak, I looked at him in disgrace.  “I am ashamed, so ashamed.  I should bring you good things.  I should be bring you gifts fit for a King, something to show my gratitude — not a box full of burdens.”

           “You already have,” his consoling reply.  “You brought me your heart some time ago.  I treasure it.” And then his remarkable words, “Now, I don’t just not mind taking your burdens, I get great joy in doing so. That’s why they didn’t feel heavy to you today.  I wanted you to understand they are light and they are momentary, that is when you let me have them.”

           I opened my eyes to my bedroom.  The house was quiet and calm.  I knew I had not been asleep, yet not fully awake.  While my body lay resting, my spirit had been escorted to a secret place of the Almighty. There I was welcomed by the One who bore all my griefs and all my sorrows, and he took joy in having my burdens placed at his feet.

           Peace.  I had been searching for peace.  There, in that hidden castle seated on a throne I found him.  The Prince of Peace waiting for me to trust him and rest in him. 

           Oh, that’s not the end.  You see, ten years later on July 27, 2015, I was searching for some Bible study notes and came across the file where I chronicled my experience.  At some point my mind filed it under F for “Forgotten”, but at reading the first few words the entire event came flooding back before my eyes. 

            I wondered how often I have taken my black box to Jesus, only to retrieve it on my way out the door.  Too many times, I am convinced.  Nonetheless, I was again moved by the experience.  Joy and confidence filled my being.

            My friend and I were having a great time talking about the things of God that day, and I shared this entire story.  She pointed out something profound that somehow I had completely overlooked.  It so penetrated my being that I must share it with you in hopes it will do the same.

            “Wow….that’s so awesome,” she sincerely expressed her gratefulness to our Savior.  “You know what stood out to me about the whole thing?  The fact that your box of burdens was so small.”

             Selah.  Pause and meditate on those words, really think about them.

             You see, I am by no means a person who thinks the children of God are to live in constant turmoil, heartbreak, drama, or sickness.  We are powerful and victorious.  However, we make unwise decisions, we live in a fallen world, and we have a spiritual enemy, so bad things do come our way.  Sometimes they are very bad things. 

              I have often encouraged people who were tempted to turn away from God in such times to set their eyes on things eternal, to remember that this life is but a vapor and everlasting peace and joy await us if we but keep our faith in Jesus.

             On that night when Jesus invited me to lay my little black box at his feet, he was reminding me that with him I can have peace even in the most difficult circumstances.   I was so overwhelmed by a King who had so horribly suffered already at my expense being willing to take my problems, that I missed the magnitude of the message he sent in the size and weight of my box.   He was by no means making light of my situation.  He was just letting me know how it compares to his love for me and his power to intervene.

Let these words, inspired by the Holy Spirit, encourage you today:

Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.  1 Peter 5:6,7 NKJV

He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High
Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.  Psalm 91:1 NKJV

Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.  Hebrews 4:16 NKJV

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.  Romans 8:18 NKJV

I will give you the treasures of darkness and hidden riches of secret places,
That you may know that I, the Lord, Who call you by your name,
Am the God of Israel.  Isaiah 45:3 NKJV

The secret of the Lord is with those who fear Him,
And He will show them His covenant. Psalm 25:14 NKJV

You will keep him in perfect peace,
Whose mind is stayed on You,
Because he trusts in You.  Isaiah 26:3 NKJV

Our suffering is light and temporary and is producing for us an eternal glory that is greater than anything we can imagine. 2 Corinthians 4:17 GW

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