June Yates-Boykin

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An evangelist visited the church some friends of ours pastor, and several of us from our church went to hear. I sat next to my good friend who chose a center-aisle seat three or four rows from the front. Big mistake.

The preacher was tall, lanky and full of energy. He had no problem capturing and holding the attention of the people. After a few opening comments, he cited the address of his text and like I good girl I turned in my Bible to read along. My friend absent-mindedly left hers in the car. Rather than create a distraction to go get it, she chose just to listen. She really was listening intently…until she started to giggle.

You have to know this friend of mine to fully grasp her attempts to giggle. She is not at all quiet when something strikes her funny. Her laughter is the kind that assisted in diagnosing laughter as contagious. It might start off as a little chuckle – and actually often ends with one finishing little snicker followed by a sigh and hum of relief. In between, though, it rises to a volume that declares laughter is to be shared, and has been known to include a few snorts. With the exception of overly dignified people who think only quiet, sophisticated snickers are acceptable, people around her just can’t help but laugh too.

I knew we were in trouble when I heard that first little humph come out of her mouth. I stealthily kept my face downward toward my Bible and let my eyeballs slide over to the corner of their sockets to get a peek. There it was…I knew it! Her lips were beginning to creep upward in the shape of a grin. I could hear her trying to force the chuckle to stay inside.

There we were at a time when the evangelist being serious. And we were not just in church, but in our friends’ church. We simply could not embarrass them in front of their guest or our pastor in front of them. So, I looked at her and whispered, “What is it? What is so funny?” That was my mistake. I should have just remained quiet and let the moment pass.

She could barely respond because she was trying to hold back the laughter. I finally understood, “I didn’t know that was in the Bible.”

“What? You didn’t know what was in the Bible?” I tried so hard to not start laughing that my face was literally hurting from me wrestling those muscles. I didn’t even know what was funny yet, but could barely contain my own self because of her struggle. I know we shouldn’t laugh when people are suffering difficulties, but the look on her face overpowered my self-control. She was about to choke trying to stifle the laughter, and it was beginning to show as her face transformed right before my eyes from flesh tones to a bright fire engine red.

Her expression was that look we get when we’re trying really hard to remember something or figure something out in our head. That poor evangelist probably thought he said something so profound it set her mental wheels in motion. They were in motion, all right, painting a picture for her mind’s eye that ought never have been painted.

I put my hand matter-of-factly over my mouth. I donned my “Hmm…that’s very interesting, I need to meditate on that” expression. Looking directly at the evangelist I leaned in closer to her as inconspicuously as I could.

“What he just read – I didn’t know that was in the Bible.” She was starting to get louder as the laughter refused to subside. I backed away from her and quickly sat up straight again. We had to get past this. I was looking straight at preacher man with a look of intent interest not really hearing a word coming from his mouth.

Just give it a minute, June. Just ignore her and give her a second to compose herself.

And truly, I tried. Too late. Now I couldn’t stop snickering. The evangelist was trying to not be distracted by our intended-quiet-but-not-so-much whisper, coupled by a few snorts and the evidence in our expressions that our minds were clearly on something other than him. People around us were beginning to squirm and look at us not so kindly. We were surrounded by a church full of angry, embarrassed mothers letting us know we were in for it when we got home. It didn’t matter that we were full grown.

Now let me tell you, I’ve read the Bible through several times, and parts of it many, many times. Still, I hear or read things constantly that I’ve either forgotten were there or never noticed before. Those are enlightening moments, but rarely comical. I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why she found hearing Scripture she didn’t know was in the Bible so humorous.

It was not the power of the Holy Ghost causing us to tremble, nor was it our grateful hearts causing us both to wipe tears from our eyes. Something had to be done to quiet her before God Himself showed up to take us both outside with a switch in His hand. So I pointed my finger to the verse the minister read a few minutes before. My third bad idea since I arrived that night.

I stretched my hands her way so she could look down into my Bible and read Proverbs 20:19, He that goes about as a talebearer reveals secrets.”

“Oh!” she really tried so hard to be quieter, “T- A- L- E!”

Years have passed since that night and we still get a good laugh when we think about it. In reality, not hearing what a person is really saying can have serious repercussions. Many ministers, including myself, repeatedly say things like, “I am not saying that…” or “Don’t hear what I’m not saying.” Others say the same thing several different ways in their effort to make sure everyone hears what we mean in a way they understand.

Miscommunication, though, is not limited to ministers. It is an ongoing dilemma anywhere there is conversation or an exchange of information. Many times it’s caused by the speaker. Every person will at times add or omit words, use an incorrect one, or put them out in the wrong order. Some people have difficulty expressing themselves, especially if they are nervous or upset. Yes, the speaker often plays a role in the confusion. We often forget, however, so does the hearer.

Before you get upset or confusion erupts over something someone says, try first to ask yourself a few questions and answer honestly:

Was I paying attention? Our minds can wander and cause us to partially hear or not hear at all.

But Peter, standing with the eleven, raised his voice and addressed them: “Men of Judea and all you who live in Jerusalem, let this be explained to you; listen closely and pay attention to what I have to say. Acts 2:14 AMP

Does that mean something different to their age group or culture? I have learned the hard way that some things mean just the opposite to my grandsons as they mean to me. I’m slowly learning to decipher their oral code. Cultures vary also. The term “ma’am” is insulting to some women in the South that were not raised here because in their native home it is a term used only to elderly women or in sarcasm. In my vocabulary, it is a term of respect and used for any female at any age. Not only am I not offended by it, I appreciate it. Right and wrong? No. Hearing through environmental differences? Yes

⁵And there were dwelling in Jerusalem Jews, devout men, from every nation under heaven. ⁶And when this sound occurred, the multitude came together, and were confused, because everyone heard them speak in his own language. ⁷Then they were all amazed and marveled, saying to one another, “Look, are not all these who speak Galileans? ⁸And how is it that we hear, each in our own language in which we were born? Acts 2:5-8 NKJV

Would that person ever say such a thing? You can only answer this one with confidence if you personally know the one speaking. If what you heard is out of character for them, they may have simply misspoken, or you didn’t hear correctly. This might also occur if either one of you is highly emotional at the moment. Take that into consideration when need be.

And we beseech you, brethren, that you come to know those who labor among you, and are over you in the Lord and admonish you, 1 Thessalonians 5:12 KJ21

Could it be I just don’t understand what they mean?In any case, from a conversation with family to listening to a minister instructing in the Word, never be afraid to ask for clarification, “I don’t know if I understood correctly when you said…. Can you explain?”

When He had called all the multitude to Himself, He said to them, “Hear Me, everyone, and understand: Mark 7:14 NKJV

Now so it was that after three days they found Him in the temple, sitting in the midst of the teachers, both listening to them and asking them questions. Luke 2:46, NKJV

Might this be a truth that I do not want to hear? Remain teachable and open to new ideas. If it is a blatant misstatement and you know it, reject it. If it contradicts the Word of God, by all means reject it. But it might be a truth you need to accept. If you’re unsure, prayerfully check it out.

Hear counsel, receive instruction, and accept correction, that you may be wise in the time to come. Proverbs 19:20 AMPC

This is not in any way to imply that we should overlook or accept as correct everything a person says. That is especially true in this day when deception runs rampant in every arena of our lives. It is a reminder that we have all been misheard and misunderstood at some point in our lives, and we can easily do the same to others. All the confusion and animosity that stems from miscommunication is not necessarily on the part of the speaker. It is often because we are not careful how we hear.

“So pay attention to how you listen! Those who understand these mysteries will be given more knowledge. However, some people don’t understand these mysteries. Even what they think they understand will be taken away from them.” Luke 8:18 GW

Be careful therefore how you listen. For to him who has [spiritual knowledge] will more be given; and from him who does not have [spiritual knowledge], even what he thinks and guesses and supposes that he has will be taken away. Luke 8:18 AMP

Another thing that might help? Take your Bible to church and read along.

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You can contact me using the contact form on this site or email family@fcfminneola.com

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Be Careful How You Listen

Be careful therefore how you listen. For to him who has [spiritual knowledge] will more be given; and from him who does not have [spiritual knowledge], even what he thinks and guesses and supposes that he has will be taken away. Luke 8:18 AMP

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